Just a short post here, to tell all of you, be who you really want to be. Live the way you want to live. Don’t let anyone tell you that what you want is wrong, impractical, stupid or impossible. YOU decide who you are and how you want to live, no one else.
As a child, I loved gardening. I was fascinated by plants. My mother gardened a little, but when I asked if we could use our very large yard to make a BIG garden, I was told no, it was too much trouble. Not only that, I was taught that farming was stupid. Farming is not stupid. My God, don’t we need more people who want to grow fresh fruits and vegetables to feed their local neighborhoods?
As a child, I loved writing. I was told I could never be a writer because “everyone” wanted to be a writer and it was not practical. No one took an interest in my writing, no one in my family supported it and it hurt. There were teachers that did, of course, but what does a child want: approval from their family members. So I never pursued it. I wish I had.
As a child I loved photography. My adoptive father would encourage me for a day, then discourage me for five. He’d compliment one photo and then tear apart the next ten. It left me feeling so confused, I stopped taking pictures until I was in my late thirties. As a result, I lost valuable time honing my skills!
As a child, I was told, you are not a real person, nor do you matter or have any clout in this world if you don’t have a degree and you don’t “go to work someplace” from 9-5. That’s bullspit.
When I set out to tackle this thing called Borderline, my main goal (as makes sense) was to stop those empty feelings and figure out who I was – I thought I did not know, well guess what…
SURPRISE. I did know. I’ve known all along. I was just brainwashed into thinking those things were wrong! What robbery is this!?
Some of you may think you don’t know you who are, but I will bet that a lot of you do know, more than you think, it’s just that you haven’t yet given yourself permission to be who you really want to be and do what you truly want to do. Or, you’re listening to someone else’s idea of who you should be and what you should do with your life. Red alert: theft in progress! Don’t live in fear – compromise where you can, where it’s necessary, but don’t sell your soul to the devil!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT for that!
Give yourself permission to be yourself, as long as you’re not intending to hurt anyone, BE YOU! Live life the way YOU WANT. Yes, it may require a lot of work, patience, and some MAJOR sacrifices and adjustments but isn’t it worth it? If you don’t let you be you, how will you ever be filled with a sense of inner peace? Besides that, do you want to be 97 and thinking: I wish I had…
I want to write. I am and will continue. I want to take more pictures. I will as soon as I can walk better.
I want to get my degree, because it’s important to ME, and I will use that degree to write what I hope will be very inspirational books for children and adults (and maybe I’ll teach some DBT and anger management, too and perhaps treat a few patients). I will definitely continue with my poetry and I suppose at some point I might attempt a novel. I am not pushing myself to make numerous mind-boggling decisions at once. I take one day at a time while visualizing the future, knowing things can change and allowing them to do so.
I want to farm. Organically. I want to help feed my neighborhood. I will make all of it happen. Baby steps. I’m being and doing what I want, right now in this post.
One tiny step at a time. One tiny step at a time.
It’s hard and scary at times, yes, but be you. This is YOUR LIFE!
If someone else robbed you as a child, don’t let the robbery continue by not allowing yourself to BE yourself.