Before You Follow My Blog

Before you follow my blog, understand that some of my stories may shock you.

Before you follow my blog, understand that some of my stories may shock you, but there is always a moral, a positive message, at the end.

Before you follow my blog, understand that some of my stories may shock you, that there is always a moral, a positive message at the end, and that if you can’t stand to read to the end, you may have missed the moral, the positive message at the end.

Before you follow my blog, understand that there is a myth, an outright lie floating around – that people can’t change.

This isn’t true at all.

I am living proof.

I came from the dark, but found my way to the light. Be prepared to read it all.

31 responses

  1. Hey there. I know it might seem casual or careless to follow all three of your blogs, but I promise I found something I like on all of them. I may have to ration my reading in order to maintain my -own- borders…but I intend to read it all. :)

    My own blog is acting in a way I didn’t expect (silly me) and poking holes in my walls faster than I can shore them up. Poems keep escaping, and then arrowing back in, making yet another hole. I look like swiss-cheese right now. But I know it’s just fear that makes me worry about it. Hopefully in the end it’ll be good to have them down. But right now, it’s just…scary.

    KC (I’m not on the border, I’m -between- the lines!) ;)

    • Hey, I understand. That’s why certain ones post on certain days. I could not possibly WRITE three blogs a day – I am so glad that you subscribed to all three.

      I get behind, too. I just read and respond to as many as I can as time allows. But I read them all.

      Fear. Oh, well now there is a feeling with which I am familiar. I was really afraid of going public with my ideas, thoughts, feelings – all of it, when I started these blogs. Thank goodness, as time goes on, I’m not quite so fearful. I think it’s just a process. Yes, I believe you’re right, it will be good to have them down in the end.

      Between the lines (like that – the way you put it). :-)

  2. Also, quick question…have you ever read “I hate you…don’t leave me.”? For me, it was the first time everything clicked for me. Felt like someone had been sitting on my shoulder, taking notes. What with having been going back and forth since I was a child (literally) between one “not quite” diagnosis and the next…it felt like the puzzle that was my life just snapped into place. :)

    • I have read it. I didn’t include it on my reading suggestion list because I found the book to be very confusing as a first-time read. I guess I would recommend it to people who have already read a different book on BPD. The first time I read it, nothing clicked at all. I am happy that it did the trick for you. What worked for me was Borderline Personality Disorder for Dummies (which is on my list) and reading tons of articles and getting on forums. But I do identify with the FEELING of things suddenly snapping into place. Reading did the same for me. Suddenly I got it.

      Went through the same as you. Actually was told I just needed to grow up, or was lazy, most of the time. Or, maybe it’s depression, maybe Bi-Polar, nobody really knew. It was a RELIEF to finally be given an accurate diagnosis.

  3. *winces* mrr…see? I can’t even apologize right. I didn’t mean it as a slur, I promise! I’m still in a daily fight between my black-hole ego and my fledgling self-esteem, and my overactive sense of empathy. I’m not going to say sorry for saying sorry, that leads nowhere…and I’ve been there all too often lately.

    Forgive me? :)

  4. Wow! Buisy girl, aren’t you? I really enjoy the raw energy that you have put into your blogging. Great work! I was brought through to your site from another’s and there is always a reason for everything. I have always found that computer conversing is so hard due to the fact that emotions can not always be given and received correctly… oh, well, atleast we can connect with others all around the world, right? I come from a family of healers and intuitive spirits. I so enjoy meeting new souls and making individual energetic connections wtih each one. If you would be interested and open to new possibilities, I may be able to introduce you to some fantastic ways of mind, body and spirit healing techniques and help guide you to a new path on your life journey…. (I am not allowed to help anyone unless I am given an ‘okay-dokay’ or spiritual open request.) I would love to stay connected, either way – I will continue to enjoy your wonderful blog… Smiles and Positive Thougths to you…. Shana

    • Staying busy is good medicine. :-) Thank you Shana, for such a nice compliment. It is raw, but I try to temper it with love. There is so much I want to write about, stuff that is difficult, but it must be put in the right way, or the message gets lost. In other words, raw is a turn-off, I know, if not done correctly. Balance, balance, balance.

      I agree completely. There IS a reason for everything and we can learn from all of it. We don’t have to be victims of circumstance or have negative attitudes, we can be learners. ♥

      It is hard, the computer conversing, as yes, facial expressions and body language are missing, but I do find that once I get to know someone a little, it’s not quite so hard. I tread carefully though as I intend to offend no one. I also enjoy meeting people from around the globe, that is probably my favorite part of blogging – learning from others in different cultures. What a blessing!

      Ok, so I am interested in what you have to say. I am always open to new ideas.

  5. Wonderful! May I email you or would you rather it be posted here? Matters not to me. I was reading about your difficult time with your body and I was pulled in the direction of a few different things that I intuitively think would be highly benificial to your spiritual and therefore, physical, growth. Mind, body, and spirit must all correctly connect in order to become whole and healthy. Unlike modern medicine, which is more of an instant gratification (yet, non lasting and usually un-healthy for our body connect) the processes that might help you will be both lasting and pure! I appreciate your openess and positive energy! You should be very proud of yourself. Have a great night and I look forward to hearing from you. Smiles Always, Shana Pyzik

  6. Hello Zen! Thank you for following my blog. I added yours very quickly to my “follow this blog” list, my blog is only 2 weeks old, & I started it bc my madness just suddenly dropped back in with no notice. I am still learning to blog, partially through my own mistakes (I started another one before I found my “voice” – I don’t know how to delete it!) & lots through other blogs, like yours.

    I haven’t spent too much time here yet (I was planning on it because I love it) simply because, as you can tell, I having been spending time in the dark. My conditions have proven treatment resistant & sometimes the power of positive thought is the last thing you want to hear, when every psychiatrist, hospitalization, psychotherapy/group regimen, pharma cocktail & all combinations thereof have failed you.

    I feel better today. Pardon me if I lay about on your page & comment away.

    Oh, & I wanted to let you know I added your blog to my page – now the 3rd – linked on my header & lower left footer. My use of menus is also unsophisticated as yet, but I labelled yours “Positive reinforcement”.

    If you’ve a mind (&/or time) to, I would love your very minor “mentoring” – I would love to run a few questions by someone well-practiced. It is not my intention to have a blog entirely comprised of “damnit, mental illness, go away or I’ll take you away!”

    Sorry I put this as a comment – I didn’t see a “contact” – probably missed it.

    Best, J

    • I understand “the dark” – I spent 43 years there! Well I hope I don’t sound condescending or like some sort of freak jerk, but please just be kind to yourself and give yourself plenty of time and wiggle room to get through “the dark.” I NEVER thought I’d get out, but I did. I am just trying to say it can be done. If someone had told me that three years ago I would have Laughed MAO! :-) But now I’m here and know I am going to be okay. Trying to empower you! I know, sometimes being told positive things makes you feel nauseated. Well, if you’re anything like me, sometimes I thought: yeah, right, get real and stop being so icky, sicky NICE. :-)

      THANK YOU so much for adding me to your blogroll. I appreciate that. Aw, wow, THANKS, for labeling me positive reinforcement. What an honor! I am grateful. ♥

      I am glad you feel better today. PLEASE STAY, and keep writing.

      Feel free to comment on anything. I answer ALL comments, though, soon with school starting, I may not be able to get to them the same day, it may take a few days, but I promise to answer all of them.

      As far as contact, thank you, I should put that up as a page, although my public email can be seen on my Gravatar.

      To delete a blog, I can help with you that, but first tell me, do you have both blogs under one email address or are they under different email addresses?

      • All of your comments and insights are welcome! Yes, they are both under the same e-mail. I looked & looked & found no way to do it, it kept giving me apocalyptic messages whenever I tried to shift something.

      • Thank you, I am honored and humbled by your appreciation. ♥

        Well, your blog, if you want to delete one, is very simple. Go to your dashboard. On the left you will see “Tools” way down at the bottom. Click on that. One of the options is Delete Site. You will be taken to a screen to select which blog you don’t want (from a drop-down menu). Pick the blog you don’t want and then follow the confirmation details.

  7. AH! I just had this typed out and hit the wrong button! ANYWAYS! THANK YOU! Your comments are now way above my mother’s, who has now taken on the name anonymous54. (hello! changing your email isn’t enough, you’ve got to change your IP address too!) I just responded to her comment on “Funeral”. My parent’s are my #1 trigger and it took awhile for me to decide if and how to respond. It was somewhat triggering doing it and thinking about it. I’m not sure how to deal with it from here on out. I guess if depends on if she writes again and what she says. My gosh she makes herself sound like a SAINT, but I’ve heard NONE of that in person. Quite the opposite! I have a whole town of 500 (ya, I grew up in a small town) thinking that I’m hypnotized to believe that all has been caused by my childhood but that REALLY it’s just all for attention. AHH!!! Ok… now I’m going to stop talking about it because that last sentence seriously about made me scream out loud! Anyway, thank you! I know you have a TON of blogs to catch up on. I have a lot too, but probably a 1/4. :) Thank for taking the time to respond!

    Oh, and look into ISTDP. If you don’t respond well to the fast paced type of therapy it’s probably not for you. But its a great option for some. My therapist said that he’s had some with BPD that clearly, first visit, would NOT be able to do it and referred them to DBT.

    • I thought that was a strange address to write from. Wow. You do have guts to write with her reading it. My Mom does not know where my blog is. Right, yes, IP would be a giveaway.

      I don’t talk my Adoptive Dad anymore. Not after he hid my step-sister’s death from me (last straw). My Mom I can talk to about once a month, so oh yes, do I understand that. Well the rest of us Borderlines know this is not for attention.

      You’re welcome.

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